Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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