i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
