thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Blood and glitter go together right?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
