i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
