You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She even gives head with a lisp.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
