My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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