I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
