he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
