**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
