listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
