You're my little dorito
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
