i think my tv is drunk
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
