Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
