my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
A+ Viking dick
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