Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
