Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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