$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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