he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
