He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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