id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
