i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
