so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
