My hand turned me down
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
