I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
