My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
