Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
