I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
