like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
