WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
