I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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