Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
