No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize