**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize