yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
