areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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