I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
