You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
