I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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