After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
