I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
