im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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