He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
