just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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