Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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