I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize