How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize