i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Floor bacon is actually really good
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
