you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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