What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I puked a lego.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
