i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
