I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
