drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
