Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
