I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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