I'm so fucking centered right now
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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