that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
