Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
