Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
