i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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