Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
