I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
