Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
high people should be assigned attendants
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
