Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
