The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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